The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
