love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
please come you make the beer taste better
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
