I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
