THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he fucked my hip out of place.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
