I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
