the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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