Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
