Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
