i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
ttyl tear gas
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
