She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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