Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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