i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this will be a night to untag.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
