I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
