Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
