FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize