Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
