So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
