Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
