Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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