its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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