I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
