I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
