Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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