You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Houston, we have a squirter
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize