i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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