Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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