Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
