Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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