u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
