Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize