i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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