shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
