ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
