your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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