I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
