I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
