I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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