I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
