i need an iv and a liver transplant
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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