She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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