it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can't turn off my feet"
Still dying that you shit outside
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
