my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
