you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
