i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
