make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
