i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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