He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I supernannyed him into submission
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
