Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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