my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
