We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
