walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize