Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
