everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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