The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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