too bad you live with your parents still
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
