Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
